Funny Facebook Status-Funny Status Lines
By ripplemaker
Funny Facebook status? Funny status lines? You are not serious right?
As of September 2009, Facebook has now three hundred million members all over the world making it one of the leading social networking sites. Imagine that! And one of the things that Facebook users enjoy doing is updating their statuses. There are different postings. Some are downright silly, funny, corny, while others are serious or inspirational. I've noticed a lot of family and friends post their thoughts or whatever activity they are engaged at for the moment. Well, it's a great way to keep in touch and connect with some people I know.
Obviously, I am in the mood for something light and funny for the day. Here are funny facebook status lines collected or gathered which you are free to use and modify as you wish. Enjoy and if you want to add some more..go ahead!
Funny Facebook Status
- used to have no life. Now I have a laptop and Facebook!
- knows she's bored when she has thoughts of what the cat would look like shaved !!
- is trying to decide if she has an attitude problem today, or not.
- I'm actually quite pleasant until I'm awake
- When she came home I had laid a trail of roses to the bedroom...I had candles lit everywhere, jazz playing in the background and wine chilling with me waiting for her in my robe...now the next thing I need to do is introduce myself......
- giving "the silent treatment" only matters to those who want to hear what you have to say.
- secretly stalks slimey children's toys
- wonders whether he'll ever see psychedelic cowboy boots
- is eating a hearty meal of spectacular hair implants
- is trying to sell a useless set of feelings
- says don't you hate it when you miss a call by the last ring, but when you immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail? What did the person do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away?
- obsesses over spectacular slam dunks
- is not scared of heights.... just widths!!!!
- is your father's brother's nephew's cousin's sister's uncle's brother's friend's second cousin's former roommate on your mothers side.
- is trying to stop being indecisive, but is not sure about it...
- has THOUGHT about getting out of bed... still thinking, still thinking...
- says I get this funny feeling that people are reading the things I type here but maybe I'm just being paranoid.
I Don't Like to Hear Myself Think!
More Funny Facebook Status
- is wondering if they could invent a self cleaning oven, why can't they invent a self cleaning house?
- says watch out causeI know karate...and 7 other Japanese words!
- thinking its funny how,When people talk to God, it's called prayer. When God talks back, it's called schizophrenia !!!
- will not be responsible for her actions if she doesn't get some chocolate soon
- is playing loud music to keep from hearing her own thoughts
- says why is it that whenever there’s two women in a profile pic the hot one is always someone else..?
- The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase "Regards" again.
- is pretending that she doesn't exist
- Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
- I am a bomb technician. If you see me running, try to keep up
- First the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, then the suffering
- is thinking about doing something! Now just got to think what that something will be!!!
- you know you are having a bad day, when the bird singing outside your window is a vulture
- doesn't understand what the fascination is with Camping...You work hard all year to pay your Mortgage/Rent, only to spend your vacation pretending you're Homeless
- thinks the best part about his job is that his chair spins!
- says people are always asking whats the meaning of life, why dont they just look it up in the dictionary. Duh!!!!
- Apparently you have been misinformed, because the ONLY advantage you have over me is... you can "kiss my ass" and I cant...
- wonders if there is a cure for "dumbassness" if so, I know a few people who need a dose.
- says I'm tired of chasing my dreams, I'm just going to ask them where their going and meet them there later.
- you know you need to get a life when you've just spent half an hour compulsively rearranging your trees in Farmville.
- had a brief but terrifying bout of sanity, but everything is back to normal now.
- is riding a pink giraffe wearing her underpants and a top hat
- is on strike! she will not be talking to anyone, until her demands are met. she wants a baby monkey and an army of Scottish squirrels!
- Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but then again, neither does milk
- was almost killed today when he fell off a horse. Thank god the walmart employee saw me, came over and unplugged the thing
- would like a refund on this life.
- if you cant laugh at yourself, ill be happy to do it for you
- To make it straight, she pulls it. 2 make it stand, she rubs it. 2 make it stiff, she licks it. 2 let it “IN” she pushes it. !!!! True! Threading a needle is not easy!!!
- Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent
- is insanely mad... IF SOMEBODY SENDS ME ONE MORE FARMVILLE INVITE THEN I WILL KILL YOU'RE ANIMALS AND SET FIRE TO YOUR CROPS!!!!!!!!!
- says If this was 1999, would you have ever thought 10 years from now you could sit on the toilet while updating your facebook status???
standing on her front lawn with her pants down waiting for Google Earth to come by and take her picture..
- is trying to keep her eyes open when she sneezes
- eanie, meanie, minie, moe, caught a Tiger with his ho.
- has just had Guinness Book of Records on the phone, they want to measure my ironing pile..
- When it comes to driving, anybody going slower than me is an idiot, and anyone going faster than me is a maniac.
- Dear Winter, I think we should spend some time apart... I'm gonna try to work things out with my ex, Summer...
- If my house is clean, it means that Facebook is broken
- I'm telepathically cleaning my house! So if you're really nice to me, maybe I'll "think" about cleaning yours too!
- is offering her children on buy 1 get 1 free
- wonders if fish ever get thirsty???
- is now on two diets...because she was still hungry after just one
- is planning a night he can't remember!
- is going into hibernation...call me when it's safe to come out
- wonders if we ain't meant to have midnight snacks why is there a light in the refrigerator?
- is caffeinating.
- says it's been a rough day. I got up this morning .... put on a shirt and a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase and the handle came off. I'm afraid to go to the bathroom....
- is thinking if you give a person a fish you feed them for a day, teach a person to use facebook and they won't bother you for weeks.
- is single...and you're going to have to be freakin' awesome to change that!!
If you want to connect with me on Facebook, click here!
Do you get a kick out of reading or commenting on facebook statuses?
See results without votingComments
...is thinking he spends too much time online, wondering what other people are doing.
What's life now without FB! A friend told me Facebook deserves the Nobel for connecting the world, the way it has done it. My own personal list of it's merits is quite long (i may write a hub about it), but understand many are still finding their way to it or in it. I thought it was incredible when my daughter and her FB friends managed to overturn the Philippine Govt's ban on relief goods from abroad by making so much noise internationally. Long story, but, all thanks to FB. I'm glad you wrote this hub. I really enjoyed it, and had some laughs!
Gosh so funny :)
"I'm actually quite pleasant until I'm awake"
Hilarious.... and i like the self-cleaning house too :) Thanks Ate, great and funny hub...
These are hilarious....thanks for sharing!
Wow. My day was "Eh" until I swung by and read this. I think that the toughest choice I'd have to make is deciding which one of the statuses is the funniest. Loved it, Michelle. Thank you!
Thanks for the chuckles, Michelle! The photo of the woman with the pants down waiting for google earth to take her picture is funny. It would never have occurred to me to come up with that joke. LOL!
Mike is grinning like a Cheshire cat.
While Scott is using his brains, ripplemaker is hibernating!
Ripplemaker is now intrigued by Island Voice's story.
Shamel are you awake now? Hahahaha
I see Triplet Mom's teeth all the way to the back when she laughs!
Dohn is still unsure.
VioletSun is wondering why google earth would do such a thing.
Guys, thank you for dropping by. I just needed something light to write after a very busy week in school. There are quite a lot of funny status lines around and as VioletSun said some are indeed funny. Thanks for being here. Hugs
This was a great compilation of status on facebook. The amazing thing is that they really are not random. This is real day outlooks and sharing. LOL, had great fun reading them. I enjoy facebook and all of the diffrent types of interaction, inspiration and humour. Love the pictures also depicting the humorous lighter side of life...Thanks!
Lol that was funny :D
Really good funny findings.
Fantastic! My favorite is ' first the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, then the suffering' I needed to laugh right now so thanks, Kimberly
the photo of the women with the pants down is really so Funny..
I really got to smile. Not the first time today but the best so far. LOL
Ripplemaker is grinning and waving wildly to emohealer, livingsta, KMST, lyricsingray, masco, cally! I can see you guys, can you see me?!!!
Hahahahaha! This is a hoot! I am smiling today thanks to you! : ))
He, he, he...spending a lot of time on FB, Michelle?
I love your choices of FB status... Telepathic cleaning of house is my favorite one.
Thanks....
Too funny - thanks for the laugh, I needed it!
Ripplemaker is delighted that she made Cheeky Girl smile today! :)
Guilty of spending too much time on Facebook! Tatjana, if you ever want me to clean your house, I'd be willing to do it telephathically. Hahahahahha
Keep laughing Blogging Erika!
Funny and a nice light diversion. I enjoyed it! Thanks!
I loved 'knows she's bored when she has thoughts of what the cat would look like shaved !!' My cat as yet is unshaven.
thats funny
'If my house is clean, it means that Facebook is broken'....ha ha...story of my life! wonderful stuff...had such a laugh! thanks for posting.
Ripplemaker is rushing for an appointment but just had to stop by to say HOWDY to Christoph, Carmen, Mikataz and MyOwnWorld! I can hear your laughter all the way to my room! LOL
Someone that wonders if fish ever get thirsty should wonder if they're still breathing...like duh!!
writing4armysoul: hahaahahahahahahaha
Here's a few more for the collection:
* The only thing worse than a cold toilet seat is a warm one.
* Animals may be our friends. But they won’t pick you up at the airport.
* Sadly, I only have 1 parent... my mum left before I was born.
* I have a friend on Facebook whose status says "Suicidal – Standing on the edge of a cliff"... So I poked him.
* Why isn't 11 pronounced onety one?
* just watched the World Rock Climbing Championships... it was a gripping contest.
* If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhoea does that mean the fifth one enjoys it?
* Exaggerations went up by a million percent last year.
* When I'm feeling depressed, I like to cut myself... another piece of cheesecake.
* I despise cliquishness, for reasons only my four closest friends will ever properly understand.
Ripplemaker woke up from today's stupor to read darkside's facebook status collection. She's wide awake and laughing LOL
LAUGHING !
amazing work
HAHA I read some good one from my FB friends today.
It's a sunny Friday in my room! The sun didn't forget to turn on the light today. Hello Chara, seminars and Drew Breezy! :)
very nice post. thank you
Good Stuff!!
I love facebook and reading what people are doing. It's a great way to get little updates. Thanks for the laughter ripplemaker!
That is so funny I will now look a little closer
I update my status a lot...be right back, have to post that I'm leaving a post here...
Great hub! I'm still proud that I'm not connected to facebook... But I don't know if I can take it anymore...
Amber: teehee yes do..some are quite funny. :)
Jawa: You do? Maybe I should follow you...
Fresh Flower: Hahaha Go for it! :)
A nice light Hub for today! Thanks for the smiles everyone
Lol, My mood is just changed after reading this. Add some more please
Really excellent hub. Well done. I thoroughly enjoyed reading it:)
o wow, this is so funny. Nice hub. Now i know where to stop in for a short laugh by myself...:)
These are very funny. You do really come across some interesting stuff on Facebook.
Duchess, Dennis, Steven, Jay and Mitch - laughter is the best medicine. Keep those smiles frozen in place LOL Thanks for dropping by and sharing a funny moment with me! Blessings!
Haha! Awesome! :)
I was choosing between the noose or the pills but you've made me laugh now. Very funny post.
Good posting about face book
Divacratus, knell and Ashton are laughing! And it continues to thrill me that I got drunk with coffee. :)
funny finding indeed
it takes me hours to make my status look attractive for my friends in facebook
nice one...lol
I like facebook I have family and friends on there and also Can meet new people.
lol..if my house is clean that means facebook is broken..that apply to us!!...nice one!!
Another great hub
ahhahhha. cool hub dudette....
heaheah. lol one . i have also put one of them status. Thanks. If some facebook fan want to see the photo of the person that is not in their friend list pls look at this post. http://hubpages.com/hub/see-photo-of-facebook-frie
A little levity always makes the heavier part of the day lighter. Thanks. :)
can't help but LOL ;)
here's mine too, just to share:
http://hubpages.com/hub/My-Own-Funny-Facebook-Stat
Glad to see someone from Cebu,
I'm from Iloilo. Take care!
Cute Hub! Very original too :)
This is great! I need to add some friends on my account like this....well actually I have a lot of farmville friends...haha! Thanks for the good laugh, ripplemaker!
Thanks everyone..glad you are enjoying this hub :)
thanks for the good laugh :)
Love this hub, just joined facebook and feeling a bit lost. Thanks for sharing
Hilarious, can't beat facebook status updates. Sometimes there are entire threads of facebook status messages that go back and forth tracking a person, and they're funny too, just like some wall posts and wall-to-wall comment threads. Thanks for sharing these!
Thanks guys for enjoying these facebook status. :)
Too funny. :)
hahahaha!!!
lol ... very boring !!!
Toink!
All of my facebook statuses are very serious. I never try to make people laugh with mine ...
Hmmm maybe I should try a hub...Serious Facebook Status...and can I borrow yours?
Sure use today's ! *snicker*
How I wish the internet connection will speed up...everything is j u s t super s l o w. :)
no comment
This was funny
lol these are funnay as hell
hahaha ripplemaker ur a jokkwer
Are you guys serious? I read that whole thing and didnt crack a smile
Farrr out whats happened to humor
The only funny status are ones where people are pissed of or being extremely sarcastic
hhmmmmm...
rubbish!
why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets
I like it...Thanks!
by far very funny....but some of them are really old...:) :)
Mint as like
hilarious stuff
nice ones, bt nt hilarious.......:-/
nice
Thank you. A new way to search for friends. I'm going to apply it right away
here something you can put on your wall i did and i made it up! In life the door may shut and lock on you but dont be afraid to jump out the window it may be worth the jump!!!
gosh...dey wr ol so damn awsm!!!! stil cnt gt ovr d gr8 laughtr ride dat i'v jst had!!
love love you for this g8t hub keep it up
OMG! these are hilarious, your a fb genious :)
nyc..!! =D
awsm lines...ws out of cntrl wn reading ths
funny
So funny! Seriously people share things a little too personal on facebook sometimes =)
WOW....the page is great...and i a lot of fun while reading this...LOL
toooo funnny ..........:P
good stuff
I looove this(:
thanks!
I m Loving it...
every1 really keeps out the request of farmville!!! haha
lol!!!luvd it... :*
ahha made me lmao on all of em lool :) xx
These were very clever.
hilarious.,.,thanx for sharing.,.,
this is crazy.... and i loved it!
WoW.......I AM IMPRESSED,......THANX FOR MAKING ME LAUGH.....:D
That was amazing.
u rock thanxxxxx
Ok...;-). I had a laugh!
One word===> "hahaha"
great for relaxation.. love it!
hahaha funny...!!!
these is a real funny stuff ! Thanx 4 sharing !
lol luv it
nice
lol so so funny:)!
i got fed by reading these funny things again nd again so this all seems boring 4 me, please add some new one's.
nice status
i wuv it
friggin' hilarious... good job maite (:
My brother and sister....i beg 4 ur pardon...I am a student and am looking the person that will sponsor me to school...please help me...and GOD will be with you all adieu 4 now.
hey..interesting funny stuff....loved it
cool unz.. was rely lukin for sumtin gud 2 post.. i posted 1 of the statuses and som1 immediately likd it.. usually its nt noticed... thnx a lot, realy helpful.. keep it up!! :))
LMAO...GOSH I JUSX LOVE U!
these are the best posts ever, you ROCK !!!!!
A great hub.
Take care
Eiddwen.
thumbs up
hola
"you know you need to get a life when you've just spent half an hour compulsively rearranging your trees in Farmville."- I got to tell this to my dad, haha!
` lmao if yu aint got no facebook !
Kewl....It was nice..
I was laughing when I saw the one about buy one child get one free! I actually posted that up before I read it here! Haha funny to know other moms think the same.. But I love my kids:)
haha..its lvly..my g8 tym iz on f.b
Lol itz my fav plc 2 sit n enjoy my tym!!
nyc status abv...hhehe :)
three letters "lol" super cool
thank for that
thanks 4 posting it.... relly had fun reading thru.
here is some cool comments but i want more...
/)_/)
|'~'|
(^^)
UU. BUNNY:D
i m having so much fun by reading this
funny, need to add more though,
love it....love it....love it!haha
loliiiiiiiiiiiiiing this is really funny
i got my last feelings
ehhehehehehe
good work ..... keep it up........
i love to online in fb,,, i want to see more updates about it.. to chat friend... and to see pic.... in short i like it... ROFL....... hahaha
This was so9 useful and funny!!!
its realy vry funny nd fantastic yar....mindblowing...outstanding....thnk u :)
oh...??tht was much fun and hav laugh
2ha 2hi
It's this time of nite - When my mind goes into overdrive- WHAT THE HELL WERE GOLDILOCK'S PARENTS THINKING OF?.&.HOW THE F#CK DID THE BEARS GET A COUNCIL HOUSE?
i want some funny pics on facebook so help me get one
hahaha this is so freakin funny XD
nice collection
*sumbody stole my english roughbook whn i was in school
.
.
.
nw it is known as 'oxford dictionary'
NOT SO FUNNY.MORE OR LESS OK
"Childrens laughter makes me happy. Unless I'm in a dark abandoned hospital and my flashlight isnt working properly
Its awsum.....no more commnts
To make it straight, she pulls it. 2 make it stand, she rubs it. 2 make it stiff, she licks it. 2 let it “IN” she pushes it. !!!! True!!! Threading a needle is not easy!!! :P :P diz was awsme manh :P
super likable
i will digg it
aaaaaaaa
its really really very excellent stuff in your blog.very good to reading your stuff. For Those Who Enjoy Statuses On Facebook, We're Just Trying To Make New Status And You Can Also Get Latest Statuses From There Facebook Statuses.
ohhhhhhh.......nice
Like (insert fb thumbs up here)
nicyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
ur mom is so fat she tryied killin herself by jumpin out of her basemrnt window hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah lolol
so nice!
Lms
ratee:)
hahahaha nice quotes
happy children's day
HA-HA-HA
TOO FUNNY!!!!
HAD A MUCH TIME.................
hates it when you wait too long to answer nature's call and it goes to voicemail.
Thinks sarcasm is just soooooo great.
wonders why those tiny blurry people I always see in the distance never come closer. I'd like to hold a little blurry guy in my hand.
sometimes i don't understand how poeple act to become ur friends in the smetime ur worse night mares.
Holy crap this is funny stuff lol
hahaha all are mind blowing yar..
its soooooo funny seeing ppl hav posted 2 years ago lol 2 funny
Funniest comment: Never take a sleeping pill and a laxative at the same time...hilarious and great advice.
it was fun reading this!
is holding him/herself hostage and if u ever want to see me again pay me 1Billion dollars!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! =D =D =D =D
I swear my pillow could b a hair stylist.................. I always wake up with the weirdest hair styles!
actually giggleing at these mate dont think have ever updated my status as much in the last 5 mins than i have done in the last 4 years !!
This article is a Jackpot for Facebookers! Thanks =)
I've put up a short article about funny Facebook features if anyone would like some more entertainment.
Thanks For Giving Us Such Wonderful Knowledge.Really i like your information. For Those Who Enjoy Statuses On Facebook, We're Just Trying To Make New Funny Statuses For You Guys Hope You Guys Really Like Our Funny Statuses And You Can Also Get Latest Statuses From http://www.123status.com/status/funny.
factastic
omg i thought i wont laugh but i did like hell!
Funny xD !!!
Have to say, that was some funny lines. I like, "you know you are having a bad day, when the bird singing outside your window is a vulture" Thanks.
this is so funny i stole a few for my fb and i have had endless comments thnk u 4 making my day :) xx
i do not get it
I thought it was cool
loooooooooooooooooooool
I see that several of mine are on here!
ladies add me on face book. jared.noss@yahoo.com
it was funny..........
that was kinda nice :)##@@
haha larious to somebody hmmmmm i have a frog named jeniffer lopez just thought u needed to know ya so hey hey jal-o
Mike the salesman 2 years ago
Lol I had fun reading this..Thanks!