Inspirational Stories: The Lesson from the Big Ugly Bear
81What Ugly Means...
Inspirational stories uplift us when we needed it the most. This is an inspirational story about the things I learned from a bear that I thought was ugly.
The word ugly has the following definitions:
- frightful, dire
- offensive to the sight, hideous
- morally offensive or objectionable (e.g. corruption-the ugliest stain of all)
- likely to cause inconvenience or discomfort (e.g.the ugly truth)
- quarrelsome (e.g. an ugly disposition)
And of course, our famous story Ugly Duckling by Hans Christian Andersen. The term ugly duckling has the meaning of one that appears very unpromising but often has great potential.
Reference: http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary
The Story
My best friend Stella, also my partner in our preschool, loves to draw and paint. She was actively involved (and still is) in the making of our materials when we started our Play and Learn Program for toddlers ten years ago.
We needed pictures to show the different positional concepts such as big and small, up and down, over and under, inside and outside, far and near and so on. Sensing that I was feeling low, she invited me to paint with her. She handed me a picture of a big and a small bear.
I was grouchy, feeling low and down in the dumps. "I don't know how to paint." I muttered under my breath.
"What?" she asked.
"I don't know how to paint," I growled, angry that I had to repeat what I had to say.
"It's okay," she smiled brightly. "It's quite easy. We are using poster color paints so it's not as hard as water color."
 | Amazon Price: $7.91 List Price: $14.95 |
 | Amazon Price: $8.49 List Price: $14.95 |
 | Amazon Price: $22.20 List Price: $24.00 |
 | Amazon Price: $3.49 |
 | Amazon Price: $1.99 |
 | Amazon Price: $7.99 List Price: $15.99 |
I frowned as I grudgingly sat beside her. When she looked at me with a twinkle in her eyes, I frowned some more (if it were possible to have more lines on my forehead).
"Here," she handed me the paint brush and placed the palette near me. I pushed it away.
I was being stubborn and she knew it. So she just focused on the activity instead. "Okay, I'll paint the small bear first and you try painting the big bear."
I watched her work for a few minutes. It was fast and it looked quite easy. Well, when it was time for me to paint the big bear. I began to feel angry. Many thoughts were running in my head. Thoughts of how I was not good enough. That no matter what I was going to do, it was going to end up ugly anyway. Why bother!!!
That was the year that I was finding myself. (How I got lost, that's another story to tell--and a long one at that!) I was feeling angry with myself and the world and so the poor bear got the brunt of it all.
I grabbed the paint brush, the paper and the palette and began to furiously paint. I stabbed the bear many times and finally when the bear was ugly already, I declared, "see it's ugly! I told you I can't do it." But as the words escaped my mouth, I could feel the tears forming in my eyes.
The Ugly Bear
Stella looked at my painting. It wasn't such a nice work. And I knew it. She knew it too. Before she could speak, I blurted some more. "I hate it. It's ugly... see! It's very ugly. I could never do anything beautiful! It's hopeless!"
She opened her mouth, closed it and gently got hold of my hand which was stabbing the bear with the paint brush. "Chelle, there is still hope. It's not ugly at all. Just a bit of a mess but it can be improved. There's always something we can do."
She got the paint brush, dipped it into the brown mixture and right before my eyes transformed the ugly looking bear. She didn't do much really. Just improved what I did and cleaned out the mess I made with my stabbing motions. But it worked. Even in my depressed state, I saw the bear starting to look better.
A Better Looking Bear
I grew silent...
The painting lesson taught me something truly valuable.
1. Painting is a form of therapy. Watch what you or your kids draw and paint. Listen to the words they use to describe the picture. It reflects so much of what is inside the heart and mind.
2. If you feel ugly inside, you tend to view everything and everyone as ugly too. The world is the reflection of how we view ourselves. It's our mirror. What do you see?
3. Ugliness can eat you up. It can cause you to growl, flare up and get irritated easily. And if you meet people who "bite" and "snarl", chances are they have so many hurt and pain inside, and not knowing how to handle it, end up by hating anything and everything around them.
4. A person with low self esteem and self confidence often exhibit fear of trying new things. If you meet people like this, don't condemn them. Show compassion and understanding. And help them change perspective about themselves.
5. Sometimes we may make a mess of ourselves and our lives. But there is always the chance to stand up after you fall, to forgive yourself and others and begin anew.
6. Love and kindness heals a wounded soul. True friends and those who love you see beyond the "ugliness" and finds the beauty within you. And this will motivate you to change amidst their love.
My Nephew and Me with Our Bears!
There was a time...
I used to feel really ugly about myself. It seems I just couldn't do anything right. And I thought things were just hopeless and there was no way out of this situation. But that day, Stella planted a seed of hope inside me.
Somehow if she saw something beautiful in me, perhaps there is truth in the story of the Ugly Duckling --that he actually became a beautiful and graceful swan. And the truth is that I had something good in me too. And I just needed to unfold and heal and discover who I really am.
CommentsLoading...
Awwwwwwwww you crazy bear...that was nice
Michelle,
Understanding who you are and the beauty inside is a powerful tool for healing. As always you have shared a wonderful inspirational message of learning to love yourself. I too think painting as well as other creative outlets are forms of therapy.. do you still paint?
Ripplemaker,
This is a lovely hub! So many times we get caught up in "I can't,"" but we can.
Art is therapeutic. My son who has asperger's syndrome always turns to doodling and drawing when he gets frustrated in school. The teachers don't understand the obsession with drawing, but I know it is his therapy. I just tell them, "Let him draw, he is still listening and learning from you".
This is very inspirational. Thanks, so much!
Julie
Inspiration when I needed it, thank you.
wonderful! I used art all the time with foster children during our crafting time....It settled their nerves, gave them someplace to show their feelings without words, and things became beautiful tho at first they produced dark rough and harsh art.
It was like a catterpillar becoming a butterfly.
I, too, took a class working with chalk on palettes...I produced a purple iris....i was amazed. it was beautiful once I got over the "i can'ts." I did.
lost it later in a home fire....but it's frozen in my memory.
Nice hub, we Can!
Hi Zsuzsy, I had to walk the painful road to finding myself. I don't regret it for it has made me who I am today. The past has taught me so much and I continue to be grateful. :) Thanks for your comment.
Funnebone, thanks. :)
Diana, I still dabble with drawing and painting every now and then. But I'm more into acting and singing now which is also another creative outlet. Do you paint too?
Oh Julie, I can just imagine your son. That's so true, art is therapeutic. Thanks for reading this hub.
Bob, your most welcome. :)
Hi marisue, it's so true, when we get past the I can't, we'd be surprise that we actually can. Yes, as the ugly duckling turned into a swan, so does the catterpillar into a butterfly. I like that thought. Thanks for sharing your experiences and thoughts. :)
What a touching hub, but really i was like um, the first set of bears look just like the second set? Maybe I don't have good uggo-radar.
Hahaha lady luck, thanks for your honesty. The outline of the bear is the same, it's only the painting that I did that was ugly. Well... it was ugly for me then and maybe now when I look at it, it isn't so ugly. But that's how it is. When you feel ugly inside, you view objects, people and things around you as ugly too, including yourself :) I'm glad you pointed that out thanks.
well my dear sweet one..a couple of things come to me.."what we most need in life is somebody who points out what we could do...and what we are capable of"
and..should you encounter a problem along your way...change your direction, but not your destination!
reach for the Sun and, should you miss...you will still end up amongst the stars
my best to you sweetie G-Ma :o) hugs
Thanks G-Ma! I've gone a long way since those days. I like what you said about reaching for the sun and if we miss, you can still end up being the moon amongst the stars :)
I actually liked both the before and after bears. I thought they were great!
Good to know you have a positive outlook in life :) That says it all.
I agree with Zsuzsy you are indeed beautiful on the inside and out too! Your hubs are always so filled with beauty and a wonderful loving energy.
I actually clicked on your profile even if I am your fan, to see if you wrote anything new, as my email has a glitch with hubpages.
Thanks VioletSun, that is so kind of you. :) You are making my heart full and inspired. I think sometimes I have to pause and wonder when people write those praises--loving energy and pureness. I am humbly and deeply grateful. Thank you very much.
Well, my friend, all the comments above clearly affirm all the things we discussed earlier. The pureness of your loving energy is embedded in the words and phrases for it all comes from a place of truth. This is the "magic" behind your hubs. Nothing is more powerful than loving truthfully. Go on and make more ripples of love.
Daisy, now I am "scratching" and rubbing my eyes and getting embarrased (again!) I'm trying to "accept" as you remind me so many times. Hahaha BUT, BUT, but... I am understanding more and more what you mean about loving truthfully. I've pondered about that for the longest time and I guess that's the love that I know..the love that Father God has shown me. And the one that I want to experience the most. So if I am able to live a life with that kind of love, I am forever blessed. Thank you for all the support and love which you too have showered me lavishly. :)
I cannot count how many times as a kid I said but I cant do that. People told me I could if I tried hard enough. But being so terribly shy I did not even talk to people unless they spoke to me. Because I thought no one would want to speak to me.
I learnt years later that I had to stand up for myself. And started to TRY and DO things. The more I did the confidence started to emerge. But it does take a while ( like many years to adult hood and beyond). Any way that is in the past.
And now I do and write what I want. I try to succeed. If I fail I just think Oh well, do another one. And in saying that I believe now there is no such word as Cant, we all can do something good, even though others may do better we still try and that is all we can do.. Thanks for sharing that with us. It brought back all those doubts etc.
What can i say!! great story, pics and I'm glad you have managed to unfold and heal which im in the process of trying to do! Your a beautiful person and thanks for sharing your story and words of encouragement!..
:)
Hi Eileen, thank you for sharing that here. I was actually feeling very vulnerable when I was responding to Dayzeebee. I guess we all go through the journey of discovering of who we truly are. And I too remember my childhood days when I was so scared, I would hide in the comfort room in school. Yes, we can. And we can do more. Keep on your journey. I believe in you.
Compu-smart, thank you for reading this hub. I believe healing is a process and it's great to know you are actively involve in it. I have found joy in interacting with you here and you have made me smile many times. Thank you for that. :)
What a sweet hub, Michelle! I love it. :) I agree with dayseebee, your light does shine through your writing.
Hi amy jane, thanks for the continued encouragement and the friendship. :)
Yes, painting is a great therapy, we can have an insight of what people are feeling when they draw something.
Great hub Michelle.
Hi MM, painting is able to bring out the unconscious emotions that sometimes is hard to express in words. :) Thanks for dropping by and reading my hub.
Hi Michelle, I think this Hub is just super! Sometimes children need to write down, draw, or otherwise be artistic in their expression of their emotions. I am going to bookmark this to come back again to help me with my older boys (I say older only because they are not my twins). Thank you for an excellent article - Steph
Hi Steph, paint away! :) Thanks.
Art therapy is a valuable counseling technique for people of all ages, as you so beautifully illustrated in this article. Because artistic expression arises from using the non-verbal part of the brain, it allows us to "say" things that the verbal part of the brain finds difficult or impossible.
You have a sensitive, kind, and thoughtful friend in Stella, and she has just that friend in you.
Thanks Sally for your added insights. And yes, I am blessed to have had her as a friend. She saw me through the "ugly" stage of coping with my wounded soul and I hope I also helped her through hers. Thank you for taking the time to comment. :)
ty!!ur2sweet!!
My next Teddy Bear (not that im at all known for owning Teddys!!) will have a name ready and waiting....Twiddles..
:)
Zsuzsy Bee says it all.
What is the dierrence between can and can't.
Only a T that means t = trip everyone picks themselves up after tripping you are a onder at that.
Wonderful story.
Compu-smart, I'm imitating funnebone...awwwwww, you crazy cat :) Yes, can't imagine you with a teddy. LOL
Mr. M, thank you for that insight. :)
Lovely story - thanks
I cant imagine me with a Teddy either! I do have lots 6 small teddys that my kitty uses as pillows:)
Im now going to imitate you, imitating funnebone...awwwwww, you crazy cat :)
;)
Isn't it amazing how something so small can make you feel so many big things?
Hi Karen, thank you for reading and commenting. :)
Abowie, you have hit the nail on the head with that one. Yes indeed small things have more impact than we think. Thanks :)
Ripplemaker, I have much healing to do. I am inspired to go out and buy paints today. You seem like a lovely and geninely kind person. The Big Ugly Bear will be scared away from my life! Hugs, New Life
How come I am feeling "teary-eyed" with your words New Day? I send now all the good thoughts for you and vision a life filled with wondrous things. Thanks for your sincerity. ANd hugs back to you!!! God bless you
A touching story and some great lessons to learn and fall back on.Thanks!
Hey bluewings! Reading your comment this morning (after a good night's rest) was really nice. THanks.
Hi ripplemaker I would like to tell you a little story about me I was raised by an abusive father who use to tell me Ill never amount to nothing along with alot of other things.yes low self esteem later in life when thing would start getting good I would do something to tear it all down again I struggled with this pattern for a long time and one day people started to notice me through what I had chosen for a career at work them people helped me believe in myself for the first time ever Ive never looked back!~cool~cya
Thank you for sharing Oberbreckling. Our patterns indeed tell us where we are and what lessons we need to learn. I'm glad you are way beyond those now...just like me. And I rejoice each time I hear stories like this. Grateful for the people who are willing to see the beauty in each person. :)
Thank you for sharing this story of inspiration. I hope that you have grown from this experience and that you continue to grow with each passing day. Good work and good luck in all that you do.
Thank you for your sincerity. I have grown Agro Donkey, I truly have. And I rejoice in that every day. :)
This is a wonderful story about thinking better thoughts and how the world will be better because our actions will be more positive. By the way, I grew up in the mountains and I saw a real bear run in front of me when I was out running and they are not ugly, but I am happy it kept going because I was very scared. I know that is not the topic if your hub, but it just made me start thinking about bears. A political cartoon of Teddy Roosevelt standing with a picture of a bear was where people got the first idea for the teddy bear.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Teddy_bear
I agree with you that painting is great therapy for both adults and children.
Hi Sweetie Pie, love your new avatar :) Thanks for your lovely comment. It is good you are thinking of bears..wouldn't that be a great idea for a hub? *hint* I will check the link you posted. Take care.
I can only imagine what Teacher Stella had to go through. Hehe, kidding! :D
Joking aside, I agree that how we view the world reflects how we see ourselves. I went through the early part of my life hating the world and everybody in it, only to realize years later that it was myself that I hated. I was too fat, too ugly, wasn't rich like my classmates, etc etc...
But I'm really happy I somehow landed in the midst of you and Teacher Stella. After almost 11 years (it was August 1997 when I was still in college that I first started working part-time at the school), the message is finally beginning to sink in. The bear is not so ugly after all. :P
Teacher Susan, LOL. I think you can pretty much imagine it (after seeing the best and worst in us) Hahaha Everything does happen for a reason and I am very proud of you and how you have grown to love yourself. If we have been able to help, it was because we walked that road ourselves. Yay, and I am truly happy that you are getting married soon. :) Thanks for reading and commenting :)
Inspirational writing! thanks for this.
There are many lessons folded in to this story and you did a wonderful job putting those lessons inside the story. You certainly have a great talent, along with a talent for painting teddy bears ;-)
Thank you for sharing,
Carol
Thanks About-The-home and Carol. :)
I think bears are awesome and majestic and not ugly, but I liked your story.
Awesome, majestic and HUGE. LOL Yes not ugly, no doubt. Thanks CJStone for reading this hub. :)
Life is about growing and growing pains are aptly named. Your bears are a wonderful story of (you) sharing and ulrimately (us) caring.
This is a great hub.
Sixtyorso, thanks for your insightful comments and the compliments. I'm glad you liked this hub. Keep on growing... :)
Can I get your bear airbrushed on a shirt and sent to Sweetiepie?
LOL okay funnebone...you are cute and sweet.
I am impressed by this hub. You have taken something people only see for what it is on the surface(painting) and managed to psychoanalyze how our feelings are expressed through painting. Very nice work.
Talented_ink, I believe it takes one to know one. Thanks for the kind words. :)
I haven't read to all of your hubs, but I am anxious to see if all are as motivating as this one.
Your very welcome....smile on
What a beautiful and touching story, Ripplemaker.
Here's one more truth I've read about from the story of the "Ugly Duckling"
"Like the swan that mistook itself to be an ugly duckling until it caught a glimpse of its own graceful reflection in still waters, we can open our interior eyes and see that the world of thought is not the home of our True Self. This practice is call self-observation. It is "the alpha and the omega" of a life without limits, because through it we realize that who we really are cannot be confined by anything, let alone a cage of thought".
Your light shines through the "Big Ugly Bear" to a life story with a happy ending.
HI Dottie, what a lovely way of putting it. Yes who we are is the most beautiful thing we can ever be so we must constantly "find" that which is the "best" in ourselves and continue shining. THank you very much for your additional sharing. :) Keep shining.
Thankyou ripplemaker for putting your soul into your writing and teaching everyone at the same time. Becoming a butterfly is a difficult journey for me because I see too much of the uglyness. Time to turn that around for good.
Hi jewel, yes may we all continually be in that awareness that there is much beauty inside us... yes, you are beautiful. :)
Michelle, I am warmly with you against the cold and grimy world of adults.
I just wish you wouldän call all the things that make you feel good "therapy".
I mean, feeling low is not a disease. If you are upset, you do not need treatment, just calm down.
I find you beautiful!
Hi gbdz, I think ten years ago, I wasn't merely upset that day. I was in turmoil deep inside. And I needed to deal with it. Now, I am so glad to feel good about myself. Thank you for your comment :)
Hi Ripplemaker,
You are right. If one doesn't feel okay inside, then comments from outside will just run off like rain on a waxed car.
This is a beautiful post.
Hi lori, what is inside us is often reflected on how we view the world. Hope all is beautiful for you right now. Thanks!
Your bear hub is still a great thing to read after all of these months. I have one drawing I made of a bear in 2003, a teddy one, and it is much more cute than scary. Thank goodness!
SweetiePie, it was not ugly I guess only my perception because I hated myself so much. LOL That was a wonderful lesson to learn. :) Glad your teddy is cute than scary hahahaha
Thank you for highlighting this story so I could find it so long after it was written. It has not lost its charm by any means. As you share the reflections of the mirrors, to not only see inside of ourselves but inside the reflections others see as themselves. Taking your own personal experiences and painting them so vividly of how it was, how it is and how it can be....You are a true blessing to humanity....Thank You!!!
Hi Sue, it is always a joy to read your comment because you are an inspiring woman to me! You also happen to have such beautiful perspective to things and it is an honor and a pleasure to know you in this lifetime! Love, light.. :)
Ripplemaker,
You know back when I made my comment I meant my bear was more cute than scary. I hope you did not think I was saying that about your teddy because I think he is cute. Just wanted to share. I think I was going to tell the story about the time when I saw the bear when I was out running, and I think about that every time I mention bears.
Hi SweetiePie, no worries, I got that :)That was kind of you to come back and share.
I was thinking that even if my best friend said it looked okay, I thought it was ugly...goes to show when I feel ugly inside, all the things around me become that as well. So it is so wonderful to be changing perceptions now as I see and appreciate more beauty in my life. :)
ripplemaker, what an amazing story. Loved the life lessons gained from your experience. Can't wait to read more of your hubs. First I am going to click the follow ripplemaker
link.
Oh that is so nice of you sam. Thank you!
Michelle, art can be so thereputic. I have not painted for way too long. I become very emotionally involved to the point of sometimes crying when I paint. I paint landscapes of places that I love, so it's not sad crying, but cleansing.
Hi Dolores, thanks for dropping by to share your experiences with art. :) It is indeed cleansing and therapeutic.
...ahhhh....i love it!!!!!!!!!!
cuz it was nyc and touching.
Thank you cuti3-_glyndale for commenting on this hub today. I found myself reading through it again. It made me smile..and I felt sentimental too :)
You lighted again little candles in the dark. You are inspiring countless souls out there who needed a flicker of light to revive their hopes and dreams. March onward magnificent Lightbearer . . . a legion of white soldiers is upon your command.
Zsuzsy Bee Level 3 Commenter 3 years ago
Michelle! What a great insightful hub. You of all people MUST know that you are beautiful inside and out. Judging by your great hubs and comments here you are pure compassion.
Awesome picture of you and your very handsome sidekick
kindest regards Zsuzsy